Its been 12 days since we started on his first 30 days in chastity and I am feeling really guilty and tempted to let him out at night because I feel really bad about him being in pain due to his morning erections. Any tips?
It is difficult at the start, we (I am Mistress Alice's Submissive) started by gradually wearing for a few hours and then extend for a couple of days and so on.
The night time erections are always difficult and it took me a while start to relax. As I found I would get a morning erection and I would have to calm myself, and often by getting up and taking a morning pee to help relieve pressure.
it does take time to adjust, but it does come, it just takes perseverance - and will power.
It may also be time to consider "Milking" your sub as that may also help to relieve some of the pressure. Mistress Alice would do this to me and it also helped me to focus knowing that even if I was struggling I wasn't going to be released - also having to eat my cum at that early stage of my chastity training helped to add to make me focus on keeping calm.
hope that helps.
When my husband's time came to be locked up, we kept the device on for short periods for a few days, and made adjustments as needed, this was his accommodation period. When the chastity device was off, I demanded he wear pink rubber gloves at all times. Needless to say he did not leave the house, or my sight, so there was little risk of him cheating, or even having a desire to masturbate with his pretty gloves on his hands.
Together we had purchased a steel safe, and he did not get the combination code. On the seventh day, I clicked the lock into place, immediately walked over to the safe,and put the keys in, then spun the dial as he watched. For the next five weeks the keys, and my husband remained securely locked except for hygiene purposes.
He whined, and complained much of the first ten days, but I did not give in one bit. He was informed he would be given a break in period, and he was granted that. After this he just had to tough it out. If he complained about morning erections, he was told to take a cold shower, or if he preferred, he could go over my knee for fifteen minutes with the wood paddle, and we could see if that would make it go away. Soon my husbands whining stopped, and he became more docile, subservient, and loving.
Raquel, did your husband ever take you up on your over-the-knee solution to his erection problems? And how did it work out? My experience is that it works quite well, except that spouses are reluctant to ask for it...they want to be ordered over your knee, and I think most wives are usually willing to oblige.
I went through the same guilt roller coaster. I gave into it at about the 7th day and that just made it harder on him because after that he wanted me to take it off every night. I think because he had that hope in the back of his mind it took him even longer for his night/morning erections to decrease. My recommendation is STAY STRONG, it is only for his own good and yours
Well I am happy to report that this morning my hubby woke up really happy as he did not have an erection during the night or in the morning. I think from here on it things will be a lot easier.
My wife presented the idea of a Female Led Marriage to me eight months ago. We researched the topic for a long time, and entered into it with mutually accepted written terms four months ago, but not a formal contract. One thing she wanted, and I agreed to was when she was disappointed in my actions, for example if my housekeeping, or laundry was not up to her expectations that I was to sit in a chair while she lectured me relentlessly until she was satisfied I understood her completely. I was to say nothing until she was done. This has taken over twenty minutes of total female fury most times.
During these times she will maintain a loud voice, put her hands on her hips, point at me at times, and during one lecture she held her hairbrush in her hand while gesturing during the lecture. I don't need to tell you how that one ended for me.
Is sitting in a chair the most ideal place for me, or is there a more appropriate position for me during these times given my now subservient role in our relationship? I have thought it would be more appropriate to be kneeling before her during these severe tongue lashings. If there is a better way for her to enforce her dominance over me during these times, I think there is no point in delaying what will probably happen anyways.
I would appreciate others thoughts on this, and I will suggest this to her. She is finding these lectures towards me to be very productive, although I do not enjoy them at all. However it is strengthening our relationship, and she feels better afterwards, as there is no arguing, it is her doing the yelling, and me doing the listening. There are no hard feelings afterwards between us, and we carry on.
The way things work in Madam's house, is that she aims not to raise her voice during her rebukes to me.
We have a formal event once a week where all "misdemeanours" are discussed. I am required to keep a personal log of my mistakes and errors or lack of performance. - if you will I self confess.
Madam also has a book, where she records any items that she feels are punishable (and rewards).
The blog entry below shows how the event is run and how punishments are allocated.
Mistress will sit in her chair, which is leather and clearly sets the authority position while I must wait to be called into the room and then I sit in a basic wooden dining chair. the chair is set back from the desk and all the other furniture is set away from my chair so that I am fully exposed and isolated in the room. This provides the "Authority" element. This is further enhanced by Mistress being dressed in an Authoritive way, often a business suit or blouse with leather skirt. while I will be in maids or school girl outfit.
If you are not into crossdressing then the power transfer would be achieved by your Mistress being fully dressed while you are naked.
we have developed a system where Madam doesn't have to shout and scream at me, if I make a mistake or fail to perform a simple comment of "put that in your book" is sufficient to make me sort out my performance as I know that it will be brought up on our Thursday Discipline Review.
That works for us, hope that helps
I can't imagine not being upset after being yelled at and berated for twenty minutes for folding a dress wrong. Unless it was the fourth time I had messed it up And she showed me the proper way.
I think it all depends on what she likes the best. In my case when we are home and I mess up causing my wife to get upset she just tells me "to the room" and that means I am going to get either a spanking or belting on a bare butt. While she applies the punishment she tells me how upset I made her and why I am being punished. The nuber of strikes are according to our written contract which specifies the level of offenses. If we are out of the house, she just gives me a look and tells me "wait until we get home" from there on I know whats going to happen. So in all I guess it is all up to her and for those that are just beginning make sure you discuss every possible scenario while you are discussing your contract, that may be your only time to negotiate.
I think it gets easier over time. Mine took about 5 days and he doesn't complain about it anymore. When hes in chastity, he wakes up at about 4am to pee and comes back to bed so maybe that helps?
As females we are enpowered to rule, but our will-powered has been dormant for far too long; time to wake up.